“Learn the forbidden language patterns that make anyone say yes.” If you have ever searched for hypnosis online, you have seen the adverts. Conversational hypnosis, covert hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) all promise influence through ordinary speech, without the other person noticing. How much of it is real?
Where it came from
The story starts with Milton Erickson, the psychiatrist who showed that hypnosis could happen in conversation, using stories, implication and permissive language instead of a formal induction.
In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder studied Erickson and other well-known therapists, and tried to extract the patterns in how they spoke. The result was neuro-linguistic programming. Its catalogue of Erickson’s language is known as the Milton Model.
Later, others repackaged these ideas for sales, persuasion and dating, under names such as “covert” or “conversational” hypnosis.
The techniques
- Pacing and leading. Stating things that are obviously true (“You’re sitting here, reading this…”) and then adding a suggestion (“…and beginning to wonder”).
- Presuppositions. Phrasing that assumes the outcome. “Would you like to start today or tomorrow?”
- Embedded commands. Hiding an instruction inside a sentence and stressing it slightly. “I don’t know how soon you’ll feel comfortable.”
- Vague language. Words loose enough for the listener to fill in their own meaning.
- Metaphor and story.
- Rapport and mirroring. Matching posture, pace and vocabulary.
- Anchoring. Linking a feeling to a touch, word or gesture.
What the evidence says
NLP. The research record is poor.
- A 2010 review looked at 33 empirical studies testing NLP’s ideas. About 18 per cent supported them, about 55 per cent did not, and the rest were inconclusive.
- A 2012 systematic review of NLP for health outcomes found only ten studies. Of five randomised trials, four found no significant difference. The authors concluded there was little evidence that NLP improves health outcomes.
- NLP’s best-known specific claim, that eye movements reveal how someone is thinking, has not held up when tested.
Indirect suggestion. Controlled studies have not shown that indirect or disguised suggestions work better than plain ones.
Covert hypnosis. There is no good evidence that a person can be hypnotized without their knowledge and made to do something they would not otherwise do. Hypnosis depends heavily on the person’s willingness and expectation, which are missing when they do not know it is happening.
What does work
Some of the ingredients are simply good communication, and those are supported:
- Rapport matters. People are more open to those they like and trust.
- Framing matters. How a choice is presented affects what people choose.
- Stories persuade better than bare facts.
- Expectation matters. A confident, warm delivery raises it.
None of this is secret, and none of it is mind control. It is ordinary social influence, studied for decades by psychologists.
The ethical line
Using clear, warm, well-framed language to help someone who has asked for help is good practice. Using disguised techniques to get someone to do what they would not freely choose is manipulation, whether or not it works. Be wary of any course that sells the second.
In the therapy room
A hypnotherapist using conversational methods is doing something legitimate: you know you are there for hypnotherapy, and you have agreed to it. The indirect style can feel more natural and suits people who dislike being directed. It is a matter of preference, not of power.
If you are considering an NLP or “covert hypnosis” course
- Ask what published evidence supports the specific claims.
- Be sceptical of titles such as “Master Practitioner” earned in a few days.
- Avoid anything promising control over other people.
- Remember that NLP is not a recognised clinical qualification.
The bottom line
You cannot secretly hypnotize people into obedience. You can learn to communicate with more warmth, clarity and care, which is less exciting and a great deal more useful.
Next in the series: Parts Therapy: Resolving the Tug-of-War Inside
This article is for general information and is not medical advice.