People who give up on self-hypnosis usually say one of two things: “I couldn’t go under” or “It didn’t do anything.” In most cases the problem is not a lack of ability. It is one of a small number of common mistakes, and all of them can be put right.
1. Trying too hard
Effort works for lifting a weight. It works against falling asleep, and against hypnosis. The more you strain to relax, the more tense you become.
Fix: Change the verb. Do not try to relax. Notice what is already a little relaxed, and allow it to spread. Take the attitude of someone watching to see what happens.
2. Waiting to feel hypnotized
Many people expect a dramatic shift: blankness, a floating sensation, loss of awareness. When it does not come, they decide it has not worked.
Most people in hypnosis feel relaxed, focused and entirely aware. You will hear the traffic. You will know where you are.
Fix: Stop checking. Judge the practice by what changes in your life over a few weeks, not by how odd you felt during it.
3. Checking whether it is working
“Am I under yet? Is this it? I don’t think this is it.” That commentary is a mind at work analysing, which is the opposite of absorption.
Fix: When you catch yourself checking, treat it like any other thought. Note it, and return to your breath or your image. Checking is allowed afterwards.
4. Vague suggestions
“I want to feel better.” “I will be more confident.” Your mind has nothing to work with.
Fix: Be specific about the situation and the behaviour. “When I stand up to speak on Thursday, I breathe out slowly, look at one friendly face and begin.”
5. Negative wording
“I will not be anxious.” “I don’t crave chocolate.” To understand the sentence you have to think about anxiety and chocolate.
Fix: Say what you want in place of the problem. “I feel steady.” “I enjoy feeling comfortably full.”
6. Suggestions you do not believe
“I am completely confident in every situation.” Part of you answers, “No, you’re not.” An argument starts.
Fix: Use suggestions you can accept. “I am learning to feel steadier.” “Each time I practise, this gets a little easier.” Small and believable beats grand and rejected.
7. Too many goals at once
Sleep, weight, confidence, the presentation and your mother-in-law, all in one ten-minute session.
Fix: One goal for two or three weeks. Then the next.
8. Only words, no imagination
Repeating a phrase with your mind elsewhere is recitation. Suggestions work when you imagine them.
Fix: After each phrase, spend a few moments picturing it. See the scene, feel your body in it, hear what is said. If you do not see pictures easily, sense or feel it instead.
9. Irregular practice
Three sessions in one enthusiastic weekend, then nothing for a fortnight.
Fix: Short and daily. Five to ten minutes at a fixed time, tied to something you already do: after brushing your teeth, before lunch, when you get into bed. Regularity matters more than length.
10. The wrong time and place
Practising when exhausted, and falling asleep every time. Or with the phone buzzing, or with ten minutes before you have to leave.
Fix: Pick a time when you are reasonably alert and will not be disturbed. Sit up if you tend to nod off. Silence the phone. If sleep is the aim, of course, bed is the right place.
11. Giving up too soon
One or two sessions, no transformation, verdict delivered.
Fix: Treat it as a skill. Commit to daily practice for three weeks before you judge. Keep a brief note of each session and of any changes, because gradual improvement is easy to miss.
12. Fighting distractions
A thought arrives, you are annoyed with yourself, you push it away, and now you are having a battle.
Fix: Minds wander. That is what they do. Each time you notice and return, you are practising exactly the skill you want. Build noises into the session: “Each sound I hear lets me settle further.”
A few more
Skipping the ending. Jumping straight up can leave you groggy. Count up from one to five, stretch, and open your eyes.
Using a recording you have never listened to awake. Always hear the whole thing through first, so you know what is suggested.
Using it for the wrong problem. Self-hypnosis does not treat an undiagnosed symptom, and is not a way of digging for buried memories.
Expecting it to do everything. It supports change. You still have to have the conversation, go to the gym, put the cigarettes in the bin.
A simple structure that avoids most of these
- Settle (one minute). Sit, fix your gaze on a point, breathe out slowly three times, let your eyes close.
- Deepen (two minutes). Count down from ten to one, letting your body grow heavier with each number. Go to a place you like.
- Suggest (three to five minutes). One goal. Two or three short, positive, believable phrases. Imagine each one happening in a specific situation.
- Cue (thirty seconds). “Whenever I breathe out slowly and press my thumb and finger together, this feeling returns.”
- Return (thirty seconds). Count from one to five, stretch, open your eyes.
How to tell it is working
Not by how the session feels. Look for:
- Settling more quickly than you did at first
- Using your cue in daily life without thinking
- Small changes in the target situation
- Other people noticing
When it is not the method
If you have practised properly for several weeks with no benefit, three possibilities are worth considering.
- Hypnosis may not suit you. People differ, and a minority respond very little. That is no failing, and other methods work just as well.
- The problem may need something else: a medical check, a different kind of therapy, a practical change.
- A few sessions with a properly trained professional may get you started.
Stop and seek advice if practice leaves you more anxious, brings up distressing memories or makes you feel detached or unreal.
The bottom line
Most self-hypnosis failures come down to effort, expectation and vagueness. Stop trying, stop checking, choose one specific goal, word it positively, imagine it, and practise briefly every day for three weeks. Then decide.
Next in the series: How to Build Your Favourite Place for Self-Hypnosis
This article is for general information and is not medical advice.